Black Friday Shopping
A short story for the best deals of the year.
Happy Black Friday! To those who celebrated Thanksgiving, I hope you had a great one.
In honor of Black Friday, I decided to write a simple short story. That’s not usually what I do here, but I would love to start expanding the newsletter with some extras! I want to turn on paid at some point, and adding extras is a great way to figure out what I want to do with it.
This is partly inspired by Hostel (2005), but with a little Black Friday holiday cheer.
Enjoy the story!
Consumerism was the death of the human race.
The mere concept of people tripping over each other, shoving people to the ground, trampling those less fortunate just for “the best deals of the year.”
People have died from Black Friday. Bodies have been mangled from the stomps of deal-hungry mobs.
It’s all terrible. Black Friday is terrible.
And yet, I fall for it just like everybody else.
I’ve always opted for the safer option of online shopping. I don’t risk the possibility of being stomped on and I certainly have a much more comfortable experience, especially considering how crowded some stores can be.
At home, I can burn the cinnamon apple candle and have the lights down low. I never have to worry about getting dressed or camping outside of a store for the doors to open.
No, I don’t have to worry about anything other than watching my computer screen.
A freshly brewed cup of coffee sits on my desk as I wait for the sales to begin. I’ve been switching from french press to pour over every other week, but I’m not quite sure which one I prefer. As long as it keeps me awake, I guess it doesn’t matter.
The sales are starting exactly at midnight this year, so I need all the caffeine I can get.
Hopefully the website will be free of errors. It would be a shame if I missed out on my purchase if only because of too much traffic.
“Sam,” my wife always says. “There’s no reason to stay up all night. We have the money.”
“It’s not about the money. I just think it’s fun to see what I can manage,” I always reply. I don’t think she will ever understand the appeal of Black Friday. Sure, for many it’s about the deals they can snag. For others, like me, it’s more so about the game of what you can buy in such limited time. It’s like retail therapy for me.
Of course, she was born into wealth. She comes from “old money” as they call it. I simply married into it. Her parents were never too thrilled to have to welcome me into their family.
I look at the clock.
11:58 PM.
Soon the floodgates will open and I will browse the new beauties I’ve been eyeing since last week. I take a sip of my coffee and try to prepare myself. The steam fogs up my glasses—an annoyance I’ve learned to live with.
I usually get jittery around this time, nervous about losing the item I desperately want. What if I click the wrong thing? What if I accidently exit the page? I’m probably just anxious and paranoid, but that’s just how I’ve always been.
Today I will be more focused. I will get exactly what I want. There will be no shaky hands or panicked breathing.
11:59 PM.
I’m thinking about what my wife and I should do with the item when we receive it. We get a new one every year, but we always try new routines to keep it fresh. There was only one year we didn’t make a purchase, but it was only because we were in vacation in Slovakia.
It’s almost hard to believe that she was the one who introduced me to these silly purchases. I’ve gotten so involved in recent years, you would think I was the one who was always in charge of our plans.
I recall how insane I thought it was when she first showed the games to me. She’s serious about them, and if I were to ever be with her long-term, then I would have to accept her love of games. And, well, I love her too much to ever deny her of anything.
Of course, I was the one who found the fun in the Black Friday sales, considering she never even considered looking into it.
I don’t blame her. Most people wouldn’t think that specific product would ever go on sale.
12:00 AM.
The website is finally open. Deals flash across the screen in bright bold letters.
UP TO 75% OFF!
THESE DEALS WON’T LAST!
BLACK FRIDAY SALE TODAY ONLY!
Ah, the sweet sight of pushy marketing.
There’s pages of choices. I’m quick to click through them, but they’re all such wonderful products.
It’s a tough decision, I know I’m on a time crunch considering how fast these things sell out. Which one do I want? Which one would my lovely wife want?
I continue to click through the hundreds of products. The catalog seems to grow bigger with each choice I don’t make. I still haven’t seen one that catches my eye. Will this Black Friday be a failure?
With every second that passes, I possibly lose another special offer. I need to hurry. I need to pick one now.
I can feel the panic start to kick in. This is the one thing I didn’t want. I don’t want to be anxious, I don’t want to feel my heart trying to jump out my throat. I need to find something.
What if I don’t? What if I can’t?
Another page. By the time I get to the bottom of this one, my heart feels as if it may explode. I can’t tell if it’s because of the caffeine or the anxiety. It’s probably both.
I sigh, focus on the webpage again, and…
There it is.
The perfect one.
The picture they took of the product is… so beautiful. Oh, my wife will love this one so much. The product has pale skin, green eyes, and dark brown hair. There’s dark circles under the eyes, with prominent cheekbones and a few scars on the face. They took the photo in front of a white background, from the collarbone up, free of any tape or ropes. She will love this one.
Add to cart. Continue to check out.
12:15 AM.
Finally. No more worrying. I can breathe. The product is ours now.
I sit back in my chair and take another sip of my coffee. My wife will be a very happy woman. The product will go perfectly with the new buzzsaw she bought last week.
Oh, how fun the games will be this year.
Well that was unexpected!