People are Tired
A six-month behavioral study on corporate slaughterhouses
What is the difference between a corporate job and a slaughterhouse?
Under the unnatural white lighting from fluorescent bulbs lie the rows of cubicles. Pens for cattle, herded into their desks and fed slop to fatten them up for the next quarter.
Like pigs, they squeal in pain, being squeezed into tight spaces that are not meant for living beings.
Like pigs, they are sickly. Gone are the fields that were open, sunshine warming their snouts as they embrace the fresh air. Instead, they are forced to simply be.
You need money to live, to survive, to do anything.
And so, The Archive must ask again: what is the difference between a corporate job and a slaughterhouse?
Strangely, research shows there isn’t much.
Perhaps the only real difference is that the victims are different species.
PART I: INVESTIGATING CORPORATE
While The Archive itself acts as a corporation, our founder—The Operator—prides himself in giving employees fair treatment.
A statement from our founder: “I have witnessed too many humans work themselves to an early grave. The Archive is to help humans, not punish them. At The Archive, staff aren’t treated like family. They are treated like employees.”
Thus, in comparison to the average corporation in America, we at The Archive wanted to investigate the real effects that these harmful environments may cause to humans.
We at The Archive wanted to get firsthand accounts from the average office worker. In doing so, we ran an experiment for a group of people from different corporate offices to document their true feelings every day for six months. These six months were intentionally conducted outside of peak business seasons so as to not disrupt research findings.
Attached are various different journal entries from our participants, randomized and kept anonymous for privacy reasons. We have provided four logs that we have deemed appropriate for public viewing.
PART II: WORKER LOGS
ENTRY 01
PARTICIPANT ID REDACTED - 024
RECOVERED FROM PERSONAL JOURNAL
Wednesday [DATE OMITTED]
There was traffic today. A sea of red lights serving as a warning to those behind. “There’s danger here,” they said. “Someone is hurt. Someone is very hurt.”
I was late to work because of it.
There was a car flipped over onto its side. I assumed the driver had been running late too, because I couldn’t really figure out how else he would’ve managed it. I still don’t really know.
Traffic wouldn’t have been as bad if people knew how to mind their own business, but I can’t really blame them.
We all commuted to our machines every day and continued being cogs for gears that didn’t really care whether we ended up like that guy in the wreck or not. People stared at accidents because it was the only interesting thing they saw all day. It was different from our worksheets and pie charts waiting for us back at the office.
Before I had gotten on the exit to get on that interstate, I had a really weird thought while waiting to cross the road.
My car blinker clicked endlessly. It felt like it was hypnotizing me. I was thinking… what if I let a car slam into me? How crazy would it have been to experience the glass shattering? The crunch of metal against metal? The thrill of the car spinning uncontrollably while “Piece of Me” by Britney Spears played?
It all sounded so freeing.
But I waited for the cars to pass. I turned legally. Safely. Unharmed.
Does everybody else in traffic think that way too?
I feel like everybody was looking at the wreck pretending to care if the driver was okay. But secretly, we all wanted to see a dead body. That was exciting.
But… there wasn’t a dead body that day. The driver was on a stretcher when I drove by, and I saw him talking to the paramedics. I swear I even saw a smile on his face.
Maybe he was just happy to be alive.
Or maybe it was the first time he had truly felt alive in years.
ENTRY 02
PARTICIPANT ID REDACTED - 013
RECOVERED FROM PERSONAL JOURNAL
Tuesday [DATE OMITTED]
When I turned my car off that day, I could still smell the blood inside my nostrils, staining them red and clinging to the walls to remind me that the slaughterhouse was only a few feet away from me.
Adjacent to the parking lot is a half-built warehouse. One day it will be filled with a new slew of piglets, all smiles even while being underfed.
It’s really fucking funny. I forced myself to laugh that day, even if it felt like I was going to puke all over myself, because it was so painfully fucking funny.
It was just too funny.
[PORTION OMITTED]
I pass by the breakroom every day on the way to my desk. It’s usually empty. When I get there, the coffee pot is usually still full, which makes sense because it tastes like shit. I always bring my own coffee from home.
Even though it tastes horrible, some of the people here still slurp it down because it’s free and they need the caffeine. I understand it, though. The people here are like zombies.
It’s also cold in the office. It’s always cold in the office.
Like a meat locker.
Another day hanging from the hook again, vulnerable like a pig’s corpse. Unmoving. Dead like one too.
[PORTION OMITTED]
I was late coming in because my alarm didn’t go off.
It takes nearly five minutes for the computer to clock me in because of how cheap our equipment is.
That day, Tom wanted to talk to me. I don’t like talking Tom. Tom is the weird coworker that kisses every executive’s ass like The Human Centipede.
I remember he asked me about a shootout. Apparently, he had gotten caught in traffic because of it.
But the only thing I remember from the conversation, the only memorable thing Tom has ever said to me, was this:
“It wasn’t even that serious. They stopped traffic because some kid got shot. He didn’t even die. I shouldn’t be late to work unless someone dies.”
What a fucking crazy thing to say. This person’s pain is inconveniencing me.
His nose was literally buried in some asshole’s shit.
I fucking hate Tom.
ENTRY 03
PARTICIPANT ID REDACTED - 002
RECOVERED FROM PERSONAL JOURNAL
Monday [DATE OMITTED]
Water cooler gossip said there was talks about bonuses soon because of our productivity rates.
That means I’d get a few extra dollars to invest into my 401K.
The office has been getting a lot of new hires recently. A lot of them are from temp agencies. No money to waste in case they don’t fit our environment. I really appreciate that, because the company really does feel like a tight knit group.
We don’t want anyone to sour the mood.
I’ve seen temps come and go. Most of them reeked of weed when I walked past them. Good riddance.
My day was good. It wasn’t very eventful, but that’s fine. I like it that way.
When I first started this job, I was always so busy. I would get home after work, go to the gym, then come home and shower just to hurry and find time to crochet between chores. It was such a hassle finding time to do everything.
When I finally prioritized the important things—like work—my life became a lot easier. When you’re actually passionate about the work you do, the stress all goes away. All I had to do was flip a switch.
I love accounting. I really do.
I don’t really crochet anymore. But it was too expensive of a hobby anyway, in both time and money.
Productivity at my job improved my morale.
I think I’m the happiest I’ve ever been. I’m making the most money I ever have. I have a small studio apartment. I’m still single, but I don’t really have time to date when I’m focused on my career.
After all, I want to be the boss one day.
ENTRY 04
PARTICIPANT ID REDACTED - 022
RECOVERED FROM PERSONAL JOURNAL
Friday [DATE OMITTED]
The door at work is an illusion of escape. Try as it might, with its sign reading “EXIT” in big red letters, it still fails to convince me that it’s a viable option of leaving.
Maybe once upon a time it could fool me, but not anymore. Walking through that door after my shift doesn’t mean escape. It’s simply a break in my misery for that day. When I come back in for the new workday, this all starts over again.
The same loop of events will just drag the day on once more. I’ll come in, clock in, and maybe have a short conversation with one of my coworkers. Then, I’ll get in position behind my desk, faking smiles for the managers as they walk by the cubicles to check on me. I’ll do this all morning, waiting more than working, because this company is dying.
The building I work in is more of a cadaver than it is an office. One day soon, this whole thing is going to go bankrupt.
If I get laid off, at least I won’t have to come to this hell anymore.
But it’s whatever. I’ll be out of here soon enough.
This is just a temporary job until I get my degree. I don’t exactly want to do admin work for the rest of my life.
Today I went to talk with my general manager. I had to do a one-on-one with him in his office.
I don’t really remember what the meeting was about.
All I remember is his face. It felt colder than usual. He looked skinnier.
I swear to God, he didn’t even blink the entire time.
There was a fly in his office. I remember it swarmed his head, buzzing around in an endless circle. It was hunting for a spot to land. At first, I figured he was ignoring it to simply keep appearances.
But then, the fly finally landed on him.
It landed on his freaking eyeball. The thing just crawled all over it, playing in the wet membrane like a child in a rain puddle.
He didn’t react. I tried not to.
Oh well.
I’ll be gone soon.
Or at least I hope so.
PART III: SUMMARY
The following summary is from our R&D department.
30 participants were selected for this study.
Over the course of a six-month period, 25 participants wrote daily logs dealing with their corporate work environments. These participants came from various different backgrounds, including but not limited to logistics, administration, accounting, and marketing.
4 participants failed to complete the study after demonstrating rapid motivational decline.
1 participant was asked to be removed from the study entirely, stating they feared repercussions. Although they were informed this study would be completely anonymous, they refused to continue their initial agreement.
Many logs were omitted due to several factors, including severe deterioration in coherence, lack of relevance, or revealing personal information. For this reason, we are only presenting 3,247 logs out of the 4,500 available.
While typical occupational burnout was documented among many participants, collected evidence suggested the presence of additional factors beyond standard workplace exhaustion.
Many participants recorded symptoms of extreme exhaustion, lack of general interest, and impulsive behaviors. Over half of our participants reported addictive behaviors with dependency on alcohol, illicit drugs, processed food, or gambling.
Further, most participants documented mood swings after speaking with authority figures in their workplace.
A significant number of participants described their workplace as industrial processing plants, such as slaughterhouses. Thus, violent impulse behavior grew common in participants, rather it be toward others or themselves.
Only a quarter of our participants described having a good relationship with their boss. Others described their boss and colleagues as inhumane, many using corpse imagery in their writing.
Repeated usage of decay, consumption, and feeding imagery are present among all logs, with each participant being unrelated to each other.
While the evidence paints a strange picture for corporate America, we at The Archive are unaware of how to properly conclude this experiment in a definitive manner.
We theorize a possible parasite-like illness amongst employees due to close proximity, but without proper samples, we are unable to give a true conclusion to the behaviors seen within our participants.
CONCLUSION
Unfortunately, our research team failed to provide a conclusive answer to our study. While The Archive certainly gained valuable information on the behaviors of corporate employees, we are unsure of how to proceed with our findings.
We at The Archive cannot in good faith say that there is something going on within America’s corporate offices. We can, however, say that most employees experience some sort of mental health crises.
Because of these findings, we are actively finding ways in which we can continue this research.
If you or anybody you know that work in corporate have experienced any strange phenomena, please do not hesitate to reach out to our research team. They will be happy to go over any new evidence that may bring us closer to a more conclusive answer on this case.
Thank you for your participation.
If you believe in The Archive’s work, you can support further investigations here.
that sounds about rightm working in a corporate enviroment